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Poudre Gnarrows Race '07

By: Evan J. Stafford
Photographer: Nichole Marcillac

Racers meeting at the starting line

It’s a weird day, reporting on an event that I championed but I’ll do it anyway, maybe for my own ego, and maybe a little bit for your entertainment, but definitely to quiet down (at least until next year) all the shit talkers who couldn’t keep their mouths shut before the race. The Poudre Gnarrows Race ’07. Was it bigger and better than the ’06 inaugural race? Yes and no. At least twice as many spectators turned out but still only ten paddlers came saddled with the cojones to battle it out for the buckle. At least there was some new blood and when Randy pulled the no show he forfeited a dirty, dirty month long moustache of the highest quality to lotsatalkinshit-but-at-least-he-showed-up. His wife is currently so disgusted by the lip slug that it’s probably safe to say that Randy won’t be makin’ any more babies this month (damn his kids are the cutest though, ain’t they).

Kevin yourrealdad Jacobi charging the Whiteline

To the delight of an enthusiastic and loud crowd, the carnage bar was certainly raised this year. The so called “gentleman’s rules” were quietly disregarded through Upper Narrows as members of both heats wrestled and jockeyed for position through the toughest section of the race. Most everyone in the first heat boofed onto yourrealdad’s head in Super Collider and Leifs mom made a guest appearance at Whiteline in an attempt to help Lil’ Pete with his roll technique in heat 2. Nobody got hurt or even swam so we’ve got a bit to live up to still in the carnage department.

Leif in the lead of Heat 2 boofing Green Bridge

JJ and Lil' Pete finishing off the second heat through the top of Lowers

Underground grassroots events bring the community together. It isn’t really about who wins or who loses. It’s about fun. P to the K and yourrealdad embodied that spirit with pre-race drinking in hot pants. A little to much junk for my taste but if you look closely in the video you can see some of the young ladies in the crowd throwing their bras into Whiteline when team hot pants comes through. See. Told ya. F$%&in rockstars. Oh ya. The video. Just click HERE to check it and look below for the full results. Gnarrows Champ signing off. Don’t make me make you kiss the buckle.